Profits Got You Down? Try Tax-Lax™

Tired of sagging profits? Unable to milk higher prices out of savvy consumers or reduce health benefits for ailing employees? Then Tax-Lax™ is for you!

American Greetings Corp. on Thursday posted higher-than-expected quarterly profit, lifted by a lower tax rate.

Rite Aid Corp., the No. 3 U.S. drugstore chain, on Thursday reported a jump in quarterly profit due to a $1.23 billion tax benefit.

You too can purge those unsightly taxes from your next quarterly report. All you need is a big lobby, tons of cash and a number of bureaucrats and politicians willing to adjust the tax code to give you Tax-Lax™

Don't get caught with your profits down! Use Tax-Lax™ today and watch your profits soar next quarter!