Seasons Greetings From Delphi Corporation

by Russ Janneck

Stevie Miller’s Coming to Town
(sung to Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

He’s making a list,

Closing those plants,

He’s firing all the uncles and aunts,

Stevie Miller’s coming to town.

He knows when you are sleeping,

He knows when you’re on break,

He knows if you are goofing off,

So you had best make rate.

Oh, you’d better not walk

Out on a strike,

Pretty soon you’ll be peddling a bike,

Stevie Miller’s coming to town.

Miller The Slash And Burn Man
(sung to Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer)

Miller the slash and burn man,

Had a very shiny car,

And if he parked in our lot,

You know it wouldn’t get too far.

All of the hourly employees,

Swore at him and called him names,

They knew that Stevie Miller,

Was playing a nasty game.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,

Stevie came to say,

Although I know that it’s not right,

I’m cutting pay two-thirds tonight.

Then all the employees loathed him,

Sneered at him and cast the blame.

All of then knew poor Delphi,

Couldn’t ever be the same.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy
(sung to Oh, Christmas Tree)

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

The only choice, why can’t you see.

You’ll have to take a cut in pay,

Your benefits have seen their day.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It is the only way you see.

My corporate pals, they stand to win,

Over ninety mil, it’s not a sin.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It is the only way to be.

You will most likely sell your house,

Not to mention divorce your spouse.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It’s the solution don’t you see.

I need to buy a vacation home,

Perhaps some hair for my chrome dome.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It is sure the best for me.

You hourly scum can’t appreciate,

The wealth I will appropriate.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

Just ask the steel industry.

GM and Ford will go away,

I want a Lexus anyway.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It is the answer I can see.

What The Hell
(sung to Jingle Bells)

Stevie’s slashing through the dough,

He’s cutting all our pay,

Benefits will go,

And execs are laughing all the way – ha ha ha.

Their wallets filling up,

Accounts are on the rise,

Portfolios will grow, to an astounding size.

Oh, what the hell,

Might as well,

Slice employee pay,

All the great publicity,

Is making Stevie’s day.

Employee poverty is what we see ahead,

We’ll work our fingers to the bone,

And then we’ll end up…dead.

Brilliant! (BTW, Steve Miller is Delphi's CEO)

For more lyrics by Russ, visit Future of the Union.