< HOME  Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Seasons Greetings From Delphi Corporation

by Russ Janneck
Stevie Miller’s Coming to Town
(sung to Santa Claus is Coming to Town)
He’s making a list,

Closing those plants,

He’s firing all the uncles and aunts,

Stevie Miller’s coming to town.

He knows when you are sleeping,

He knows when you’re on break,

He knows if you are goofing off,

So you had best make rate.

Oh, you’d better not walk

Out on a strike,

Pretty soon you’ll be peddling a bike,

Stevie Miller’s coming to town.
Miller The Slash And Burn Man
(sung to Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer)
Miller the slash and burn man,

Had a very shiny car,

And if he parked in our lot,

You know it wouldn’t get too far.

All of the hourly employees,

Swore at him and called him names,

They knew that Stevie Miller,

Was playing a nasty game.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,

Stevie came to say,

Although I know that it’s not right,

I’m cutting pay two-thirds tonight.

Then all the employees loathed him,

Sneered at him and cast the blame.

All of then knew poor Delphi,

Couldn’t ever be the same.
Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy
(sung to Oh, Christmas Tree)
Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

The only choice, why can’t you see.

You’ll have to take a cut in pay,

Your benefits have seen their day.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It is the only way you see.

My corporate pals, they stand to win,

Over ninety mil, it’s not a sin.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It is the only way to be.

You will most likely sell your house,

Not to mention divorce your spouse.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It’s the solution don’t you see.

I need to buy a vacation home,

Perhaps some hair for my chrome dome.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It is sure the best for me.

You hourly scum can’t appreciate,

The wealth I will appropriate.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

Just ask the steel industry.

GM and Ford will go away,

I want a Lexus anyway.

Oh Bankruptcy, Oh Bankruptcy,

It is the answer I can see.
What The Hell
(sung to Jingle Bells)
Stevie’s slashing through the dough,

He’s cutting all our pay,

Benefits will go,

And execs are laughing all the way – ha ha ha.

Their wallets filling up,

Accounts are on the rise,

Portfolios will grow, to an astounding size.

Oh, what the hell,

Might as well,

Slice employee pay,

All the great publicity,

Is making Stevie’s day.

Employee poverty is what we see ahead,

We’ll work our fingers to the bone,

And then we’ll end up…dead.
Brilliant! (BTW, Steve Miller is Delphi's CEO)

For more lyrics by Russ, visit Future of the Union.

1 Comments:

At Tuesday, December 27, 2005, Anonymous surfsteve said...

Here is a link to an article titled
The History of Christmas

http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=285

Christmas began about 4000 years ago, despite the fact it's only been about 2000 years since the birth of Jesus. For those who complain that America is trying to take the "Christ" out of Christmas, remember that the Christians borrowed the holiday from the pagans, and they seemed plenty willing to share.

The first known Christmas can be blamed on the early Mesopotamians who celebrated a 12 day new year around the winter solstice (the 12 Days of Christmas). Their chief god, Marduk, was set for his annual battle against the forces of chaos (the forces that were making the sunlight dwindle), and the Mesopotamian King was supposed to be killed to go fight at Marduk's side. Seeing how hard it is to get a good king, however, they tried to pull a fast one on their god; they found a prisoner already condemned to death, and let him spend a day as the king. He got all the king's treats, clothes, and respect. Then at the end of the day he was stripped and slain so he could go fight at the shoulder of god. This worked out well for the king, who got to live, and the prisoner, who at least had a nice day out of the dungeons before he was killed...

 

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