Al-Zawahri, astute neo-con spokesman

Ayman al-Zawahri . . . threatened a new attack against the United States - "God willing, on your own land." [if the US does not heed bin laden's warnings]

What self-respecting opthalmologist with half a brain would issue a retarded threat like that to the American people, who are well known for their tendency to unite in patriotic fervor when faced with threats to their lives coupled with a challenge to their independence? What a farce.

This tape is like a neo-con's wet dream. Its "producers" must think Americans are as dumb as doorknobs to fall for this shit. They could have at least come up with something plausible, but this?

"I am among the Muslim masses, enjoying God's blessing of their support, care, generosity and protection."

He might as well have called for open season on civilians in Pakistan or Afghanistan, where ever they suspect he is right now. The US military could then bomb the hell out of them for "aiding and abetting" the enemy. Can it possibly get any more absurd?

Al-Zawahri also invited Bush to convert to Islam. "If you accept, you will become a brother in our faith and God will forgive you your sins," Al-Jazeera quoted him as saying. The invitation was not in the excerpts aired by the Arab satellite station.

Apparently, yes. We have a Islamic fundamentalist appealing to a Christian fundamentalist to convert and join forces. Amazing. Only in Hollywood, can you find these fantastic plots.

But alas, rest assured.

A U.S. counterterrorism official, who spoke on condition of anonymity in compliance with office policy, said there is no reason to doubt the authenticity of the al-Zawahri video, which U.S. intelligence officials were analyzing.

"The al-Qaida leadership is clearly on the run and under a lot of pressure," - Scott McClellan.

The Homeland Security Department had no immediate plans to raise the nation's terror threat levels because of the new tape, said spokesman Russ Knocke.

Of course not, it's a fucking joke!

In the video, al-Zawahri . . . called Bush "the butcher of Washington."

Nice touch.

Al-Zawahri has issued several video and audiotapes in the past year, including one claiming al-Qaida's responsibility for the July 7 London bombings.

The guy's booked; his agent can't keep up. Is there any atrocity left that we can't blame him for? OKC, anyone?

His last video came on Jan. 6, when he called the U.S. decision to withdraw some troops from Iraq a victory for the Islamic world.

Mark Ensalaco, an international terrorism expert at the University of Dayton, Ohio, said the tape's release may have been timed for Bush's State of Union address. "Al-Qaida is very conscious of such things," he said.

"Al-Qaida" is sounding more and more like a well-oiled (no pun intended) global PR machine.

Pardon the vernacular, but if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a fucking DUCK.