The Billionaires' motto is: "If we’re not broke, don’t fix it."

Billionaires Thank Tea-Baggers at Glenn Beck's March on Washington

“Health Care for Profit, Not for People!” “Let Them Eat Advil.” "Fear, Lies, Sedition! Pre-Existing-Condition!"

Echoing through the streets of Washington on Saturday, the chants of a new political formation are sweeping the nation: The Billionaires for Wealthcare! They joined the march to “thank the teabaggers for protecting health-care industry profits.”

“For the last decade, health-care costs have been moving in the right direction: up!” said Phil T. Rich, one of the Billionaires. “And with no competition, we raise raises as often and as high as we like – 29 percent in some case – simply because, well, we can.”

Battle Hymn of the Health Insurance Companies
(AKA Let's Save The Status Quo)

(to the tune of Battle Hymn Of The Republic)

Rejoice and let us glory in the profits we attain
By rationing the remedies for suffering and pain.
And no one's gonna mess with all our monetary gain.
Let's save the status quo!

Chorus:
If our healthcare corporation
Never faces regulation,
We'll be brimming with elation!
Let's save the status quo!

We bought a bunch of senators and congresspeople too.
They serve our corporate interests and we tell them what to do.
This gravy train will stop the day a healthcare bill gets through.
Let's save the status quo!

Chorus: If our healthcare corporation (etc.)

Our PR team is crackerjack. Were framing the debate!
Were spreading lots of lies and were unleashing lots of hate.
Well drive a stake into the bill the day it leaves the gate.
Let's save the status quo!

Chorus: If our healthcare corporation (etc.)

A decent public option is an option we wont bear.
And Medicare for Everyone would kill our market share.
Well never win the game if all the rules are just and fair.
Let's save the status quo!

Chorus: If our healthcare corporation (etc.)

In every other wealthy nation healthcare is a right.
But not here in America, no not without a fight!
Were fighting for the right to monstrous profits day and night.
Let's save the status quo!

"Brought to you by Billionaires for Wealthcare, a grassroots network of health insurance CEOs, HMO lobbyists, talk-show hosts, and others profiting off of our broken health care system. We'll do whatever it takes to ensure another decade where your pain is our gain. After all, when it comes to healthcare, if we ain't broke, why fix it?"