"Ahoy Navy Seals, Thar be Pirates on Wall Street"

"Gentleman, Navy CINC has tasked us to go after the biggest pirates cove in the world, the buccaneering paradise known as "Wall Street."

Our target today will be the notorious pirate ship, the SS Goldman Sachs, led by one of the thievingest pirates in history, Captain "Hank" Paulson. Cpt. "Hank" is personally responsible for steering 750 billion dollars to his cutthroat crew and raking off enough to keep the SS Goldman Sachs afloat, so Cpt. "Hank" wouldn't lose any of his personal 700 MILLION dollar fortune, most of which had been in the hold of the SS Goldman Sachs."

"We are to take Cpt. "Hank" alive, as he is wanted for questioning for a multitude of other crimes, but be careful men, he is rumored to be heavily armed with MBS and CDO's."

"Semper Fi fellow SEALs, let's not let our...

"Standby, another hot CINC Wanted bulletin just came in.... We've got actionable intelligence that another looting marauder is in the area, the infamous "Captain Tiny Tim," running fast in his personal yacht, the SS Treasury Department. Cpt. Tiny Tim's ship might be running false colors and flying under the flag of the SS Federal Reserve, but never mind, both of those pillaging looters are wanted by the USA."

"Gentleman, good hunting! SEMPER FI!