< HOME  Sunday, April 12, 2009

Holidays SUCK for the unmarried & childless.

This special edition post is for the cynic in all of us.

(graphic footage)

(found on a message board with 10-day post expiration, posted here for posterity)

by someone

Even Easter, a.k.a. Zombie Jesus Day -- the day Jesus became the walking undead.

News flash to those of you with kids: single people don't want to watch your progeny scramble for candy and eggs while dressed to the nines. This is not our idea of fun.

We don't want to see posed Easter photos, where Junior and Little Miss Sunshine in ringlets are gathered round an Easter basket, one finger in their mouths. This is not our idea of cute.

More and more, the world of America is not made for people who, for whatever reason, are not currently partaking of the American dream: 2.2 kids, a dog, a picket fence, and a house in a suburb that requires getting in the car and entering the freeway to run the smallest of errands.

I'm tired of having otherwise nice holidays hijacked by TBM [true-believing Mormon] relatives and their mewling brats, each dressed as a clone of the older, each reaching for candy to fill the void where cognitive ability should be. I'm tired of every last god forsaken holiday compulsively involving "the family." I'm annoyed by husbands who let their 4-year-olds pick out Valentine gifts for their wives. I'm irked by the idea that every single holiday -- from MLK Day to Arbor Day to the major and the minor -- must accommodate a trinket or a candy for a child under the age of 5, whose brain is not even capable of grasping the meaning behind the holiday, or even the concept of "holiday" outside the realm of construction-paper day care projects and a costume.

The world is increasingly orienting itself more toward children, and less toward adults. More toward perception-based pictograms for the illiterate, and less toward the conceptual, the adult, the cognitive.

At no other time than holidays is this more glaringly apparent. The entire country's intelligence is dumbed down to the level of a 2-year-old's, and we're all supposed to delight in how "fun" and how "cute" this all is.

It isn't. It's fucking stupid.

If I ever raise a child, I guarantee I will never force it to crawl around for candy with its grubby-handed peers; nor will I speak to it in baby-talk about Pilgrims and turkeys; nor will I send extended family photos of the poor, defenseless creature dressed up in all manner of costume for their amusement and my own conformity into the parental world.

Is there anything left in America suitable for thinking adults?


At Sunday, April 12, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you prefer halloween?

The 'resurrection' has nothing to do with bunnies, eggs or a zombie. That video is sick, think of it every time you sit down to eat.

Most mindless activities do not involve holidays.

Perhaps you can fill the void with a gun.

At Sunday, April 12, 2009, Blogger Nepos Libertas said...

GR, I'm a semi-vegetarian who is lacto-ovo (excluding cow milk which makes me ill) and eats seafood.

The video in question is excerpted from Roger & Me, a 1989 documentary that made Michael Moore a household name. I understand why the rabbit killer had to do this, it is about survival in the economically desperate time. Disturbing, sure, even the first time I saw it it was shocking.

We've been presently conditioned to expect rabbits as mere harmless creatures not suitable for consumption, let alone skinning, but we are born carnivores.

Given a chance after learning field-dressing skill and hunter ethics, I would kill a deer to harvest and turn over to meat processor for venison. Or donate harvested meat to the homeless.

Btw, gun ranges are generally closed on Sundays, at least where I reside. If I know a friend whose private property is sizable where it's safe to practice firing the rounds, I'd hit it.

At Sunday, April 12, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did ya see the guy who's been huntin 'coons in Detroit for money an food?

At Monday, April 13, 2009, Blogger Titus Sviatoslav said...

The coon man is a classic. I look for him to be on the vintage blues circuit next year. Hard corp.

That gal dressing the rabbit is just demonstrating the type of skill and brains that Americans are going to need real soon. She's a survivor.

The average American is so dumb that they won't run when you throw rocks at them.

At Tuesday, April 21, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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